Good Wait Staff at Casinos, Unite!

I have always said that the "uniforms" Borgata waitresses must wear were unnecessarily trashy. For those of you who haven't been to the Borgata in Atlantic City, the waitress are required to wear outfits that push their breasts to the point of maximum undulating cleavage, and with skirts so short that bending down to pick up a dropped straw would likely be illegal in some states. My feeling is that if one wants pornography or "Live Nude Girls" in Atlantic City, they can find it easily elsewhere. But, being the jaded activist I am, I put up with the blatant and over-the-top sexism because the Borgata has the most comfy poker room in Atlantic City.

However, I was as appalled, as many were, when the Borgata instituted a policy that puts waitresses on probation if they gain weight. It's even gotten some coverage in the mainstream media.

At the poker table, there is lots of time to think, and many of us don't spend that time always thinking about the game (as we really should, of course). I've thought a lot while playing poker about optimal wait services for poker players (and, indeed, all casino players). The truth is, and I think most players agree (based on the impromptu straw polls I've seen done at casino tables), that good, fast, frequent and efficient service is the key factor for most players' satisfaction with wait staff. Players want drinks (be they alcoholic or not). They want them to come frequently. They want that process to be seamless.

At Foxwoods' poker room, there is only one male waiter. He is the best casino waiter I've ever met. He remembers people's preferred drinks (at least within a session). He brings new ones without prompting. He's there every time you're looking for him. He's even brought me a drink (on the sly -- it's against the rules) at a table that wasn't in his table group. I frequently tip him two dollars, while I get fifty-cent pieces especially for the waitress who visit once every hour and rudely interrupt you while in a hand, holding their hand out shouting "there is your drink, sir!". The good ones know you'll seek them out to tip them later; it's the bad ones that annoy you.

So, setting aside the discrimination and the messed-up USAmerican body image politics, which are both of course important, I'd like to focus on a much baser question: Why don't we start rating casino wait staff on their ability to do their job, rather than the level to which they can serve as Viagra replacement therapy for perverted old men? Think about that the next time you are sitting, parched from that bad beat you just took for half your chips, wishing you could just get a damned bottle of water.