Ashley, the Proud Poker Father – Poker's Net-Positive Impact

[shipitfish]

In all this discussion in my journal the last 48 hours about poker harming people, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to link to this article. It's not the article itself that interests me for its own sake. I like it because it shows three generational connections, made through poker.

I got to know Ashley Adams (the father writing the introduction and coda to the article) while I lived in Boston. I went to his home a few times for home games. I met Rebbecca, his daughter, only once, briefly. She came home once as we played in Ashley's club room. She rolled her eyes a bit with this oh, they're playing poker again look. I wondered at the time, not having kids myself, about how a hobby like poker interacts in the family structure.

Reading this article, it became clear that as Rebbecca grows up, she's getting some appreciation for who her father through his love for poker — enough so that she's inspired to write about it. Given Ashley's excited way of writing about his daughter's article (and the fact that he emailed every poker buddy he has to let us know the article was up on the site), he obviously feels tremendous pride and goodwill that his daughter is learning about him through his hobby.

This whole story reminds me that — despite some negative sides to poker that we have been debating here in my journal the past few days — poker is a reasonable part of our culture that has positive impacts on people and their relationships. Sure, it's played for money and some people make bad decisions about money and get in trouble due to addiction. But how can we say it was bad for Ashley to teach his daughter to play poker, to use it to connect with her aging grandfather, and now to connect back with her, as he watches her go out into the world?

Poker is a net positive to the world and there is no harm in sharing it with those we love. Some of those we love will have pain from poker, but those people were probably destine for pain in life one way or the other anyway.

Comments

[reddogace.livejournal.com]

".....I decided to try and take advantage of the situation by organizing a poker game."

I think that sentence in Rebbecca's article goes a long way towards the discussion about poker and addiction. Not only can poker be addictive but it can be used as a tool to take advantage of people. The fact that Rebecca decided to "take advantage" of her drunk buddies and take their money is deceitful - I'm not sure if I was a father how proud I would be of that.

I still am unsure if and when I have kids, if I will ever teach them the game. And again, it is a game, if approached that way it can be fun and also financially rewarding. Maybe if my kids ask I'll teach them, but I will not go out of my way. I've seen to many friends go broke, only temporarily - none to the extent of the extreme addiction xamples roryk was talking about. I think a big consideration before getting someone into it is their personality type. I have a friend I'm teaching now - he's a smart guy so I trust him with poker. I'm teaching him 4-8 because there he can get his feet wet and learn while not losing too much. He's anxious to move up to higher levels but I insist he doesn't. He listens to me, reads the books I suggest and pays attention to advice. I guess I'll have to wait to see what types my kids are before deciding to teach them poker also.

Like anything, some people you trust to "be careful" more than others. Getting someone into poker needs to be handled in a certain way. My dad taught me to shoot a shotgun when I was ten years old. A 357 magnum when I was fourteen. Looking back on it now - I think that was irresponsible and I would never teach my kids about guns. But because I was a smart kid and listened, he trusted me to be careful and I was.

So goes the teacher goes the student.

Rebecca's Dad Weighs In

[asha34.livejournal.com]

How silly and wrongheaded a post. First of all, there's nothing wrong with deceit in a poker game. It is the essence of the game. But even if there were, trying to make money from drunks by playing poker against them isn't deceitful. You may find it distasteful, but it has nothing to do with deceit.
I am proud of my daughter and her skill at poker. The drunk college students were responsible for their own actions. If they won they'd get to keep the money. If they lost, and regretted it when they sobered up, it was an inexpensive lesson for them to learn about playing drunk. If they find that they can't help but get drunk and lose their money well, then maybe they'll enter a 12 step program all the more quickly to treat their addiction.
As to poker being addicting -- I suppose that anything done to excess can be dangerous. But as another posted noted, we must be responsible for our own behavior. Teaching my daughters to play poker is no less responsible than serving them alcohol with dinner while talking about the dangers of overconsumption or drinking and driving. What, should I not instruct them on how to read a stock page or how to invest in the stock market because they might throw all of their money away some day as compulsive day traders? Should I not teach them how to drive a car because they might then speed or drink and drive and have an accident? Better, I think, to instruct them carefully and well about the risks and the proper methods so they may drive and play poker safely and well.