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shipitfish) wrote2006-02-26 07:28 pm
So, You Want To Start Playing Poker? – Part 1
I have been asked a number of times by friends and acquaintances about poker. It is USAmericans' favorite game, and was so even before the boom. Post-boom, it's ok now for even the intellectual elite, who would otherwise frown on “gambling”, to like and enjoy poker.
I am somewhat used to the “Oh, so you're a doctor, I wanted to ask you...” syndrome of being a good poker player. As someone who also knows about computers, I have often been the person whom friends and acquaintances come to and ask their computer questions. Since I have barely ever used Microsoft products, I'm usually no help there — to their surprise. However, in poker, I'm well versed and knowledgeable in the ways that they need me to be, since I started from the very bottom games that interest new players.
When I started
teaching my friend Dan how to play, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
roryk told
me:
It seems fun and innocent and cool to be teaching someone, until one of the people you get into playing cards completely destroys their life with it. 90% of the people are suckers in the games, and more likely than not if you get someone playing, they are going to be a sucker. [...] So just save yourself some hassle and tell them not to get involved and that it is a brutal, frustrating game.
I gave that advice serious consideration, but in the end, rejected it
(Sorry roryk). I have never had anyone come to me to ask
about poker whom I judged to be susceptible to losing themselves in
addiction. I have a good sense for this, but even if I do screw up
and get someone involved who can't handle it, I am certainly not going
to blame myself. Should everyone who ever served an alcoholic their
first drink blame themselves? Of course not, it isn't their fault;
it's a mix of bad genetics, bad environment, and a lack of
self-control on the part of the alcoholic.
I model poker as an example of the typical USAmerican male hobby. Upper-middle class men spend a lot of money on their hobbies. Think of golf, for example. I know men who must dump a grand or two each and every year into their golf habits. They'll never make a dime of that back, of course. It's our culture; the “pursuit of happiness” appears right there in a one of our founding documents. Golf makes some men happy, so they dump all their so-called “disposable income” into it.
roryk is right, of course, many experts estimate that 90%
of regular poker players are long-term losers. I've never seen hard
data, nor a even rigorously computed estimation of that number, but
it's still probably correct. But being one of the 90% is far from
having a problem. If the player doesn't have a gambling problem,
there isn't any inherent additional harm in giving
poker a go and dropping a few grand a year in poker instead of golf.
Indeed, poker losses can surely be mitigated by careful study to no
more than any other hobby someone might undertake. And, the new
player might even end up a winner for the year. I think it's a fun
hobby and a great way to study the psychology of others, regardless
of financial outcome.
The first thing I always tell people who have interest in poker, is that they will be losers forever unless they plan a rigorous, diligent, involved and constant learning process that will take up a large portion of their free time. As a new player, you must realize that to become a strong player, it takes study and lots and lots of active practice (not the passive practice of playing without an eye to game improvement). It takes discipline, concentration and nerves of steel. But, it's also rewarding, just as it is always rewarding to engage in competitive hard work with direct financial reward.
Having heard the caveats, you may still want to give poker a go. You have some “disposable income” and want to take your shot. Then, I suggest you set a budget for the hobby and be disciplined about it. It can be disheartening to realized you don't have the time to put in to learn how to beat the games, but any hobby one might engage in can turn out that way, despite substantial financial investments. It's important that you make an up-front budgeting decision on how much you're willing to spend on the hobby and stick to it. I am sure that every day, a USAmerican man realizes he's never going to be that good of a golfer but that he'll keep playing anyway because he enjoys it, but he surely does so on a budget.
Anyway, the upshot is that I have no qualms about helping people learn
poker, with the caveats set forth. So, then the next question always
comes: How do I get started and what type of game should I play?
What should I read? Where should I go to start playing?
.
I've answered these questions many times over during the past few
years. I've decided, after tmckearney asked
a few questions and I started
putting down the usual answers, that I'll instead do a series in
this journal, geared to help complete poker newbies get started. Each
Sunday night, until I run out of things to say, I'll make a post
helping new players navigate their way through the world of poker.
Two things for newbies
(Anonymous) 2006-02-27 02:25 am (UTC)(link)1) Nearly all poker players are not long-term winners
2) Even players who have the potential to be long-term winners get seduced into playing over their head and giving up whatever profits or edge they might have at easier games
3) Even the best players will go through long and brutal periods of loss and self-doubt. There is absolutely no way to avoid swings within your bankroll.
And also, I have always felt that there is a place for good, but losing players. It is fine if somebody is willing to drain away some money intentionally. It's no different than draining away some money at the craps table or in a slot machine. As long as you know that you are in fact losing in the long run, and you understand how much edge you're giving up, then you're just having some fun with some disposable income.
There seems to be an attitude among some poker players that if you're not winning, or trying to win, then you're an idiot. You don't see that attitude (as much) over at the high-stakes roulette wheel.
In particular, if a player gets a big thrill out of bluffing, then they should learn to weight their bets to situations where they have some outs if they're called. Sure, other players might catch on and call with better hands. And sure, this tendency might make the person a long-term loser. But the player will get much more bang for his buck. Sometimes he'll get called, spike an out, win a monster, and send some young pro all pissed to the rail.
So maybe the right response to a new player is, "Sure, I'll teach you some things. It'll be hard to make you a long-term winner, but I can teach you how to think about the game and have some fun."
Re: Two things for newbies
This is exactly the point I was getting at regarding golf. It's a hobby; it costs money; it can be fun. That's what I try to get across to people.
It could be you!
(Anonymous) 2006-02-27 08:57 pm (UTC)(link)While explaining the reality of poker as a hobby or job is easy to cut through the lies propagated by mass media propaganda about the sport is far more difficult. As I watched reruns of the WSOP tourneys with my girlfriend’s father I was reminded of the “big win” mentality that has been indoctrinated into the American Public. While watching Doyle Brunson win the bracelet with all that cash sitting on the table he turns to me saying “Ya know, I never even thought people could make so much money playing poker, but watching all this money on the table is just…..exciting.”
Poker is fun yes, but poker combined with irresponsibility and the societal emotion projection of WIN WIN WIN is a very difficult delusion for many to overcome. While the analogy of long-term alcoholism being blamed on the person who first bought the guy a beer is plausible. What if that guy gets drunk the first time that night and wrecks his car? Long-term should be evaluated, but what of the short term impact of that first big rush of cards, or that first outdraw on the river, or conversely the devastation of losing sessions with no heat of cards, and being outdrawn on the river when you had the nuts on 4th street? It does all add up.
The statistic that 90% of poker players is shocking. Do you have any statistical information on that?
Anyway, that’s my 2 cents.
-Erich
Re: It could be you!
As mentioned in the post itself, there are no statistics or even rigorous estimates that I could find. But, the number seems believable in spite of that. As to the other points, I've made a new post that responds to some of them.
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You will have a friend, and he has a wife, with two kids.
And he will innocently ask about poker. And you will happily talk about it with him, and get him into it. For low stakes, because it's all just fun and everything. Just like you have for the rest of the people you know, because for most people, that is how it goes, it's just fun and they win sometimes, they lose sometimes, for small change.. maybe a grand over the year, who cares...
but this friend is different. He plays for the small change and wins a bit. And he decides that this game is really fun. So he plays a little bigger and wins a little more. And plays a little bigger, maybe he loses. But that was just being unlucky. And he is hooked now. And maybe a year later, or two years later. He is broke. And he lost his house. And his wife and kids, they have nothing. He became completely addicted to gambling. He lost everything. He is gambling his kids college money. His food money. He lost the house. He lost the car. Everything. His wife and kids have nothing. And his wife calls you up. You FUCK, Bradley. You fuck you did this. You introduced him to this you fucking asshole. The 16 year old daughter calls you up in tears. He borrows some money from some shady people and they show up at his house and hurt him or his family. Is it just fun then? Because one time, one of your friends, that is what is going to happen, for sure. One of these times, you're going to get unlucky and hit that jackpot. Hit the guy who is going to wind up at Gamblers Anonymous, or hit the guy who is going to wind up putting the gun in his mouth and killing himself once he is busto. And you started him on that road. I won't say I told you so, but I did.
It's like drugs, Bradley. Most people can do cocaine and not get addicted, that stuff they show us in school is lies for the most part. I know tons of people who have done coke and it's fine. But there is always that one guy who is not fine. That one guy is the minority. Think about it, if everyone who did coke wound up an addict, there would be so many addicts in the world you'd have to do some concentration camp shit to deal with them. If you liked to do coke recreationally, and you weren't addicted, and when your friends asked you about it you were like, yeah it's awesome and you got them into it, then eventually you are going to get unlucky and one of them will be the one winds up being an addict. Most of them will agree with you, it's a fun time, it feels good when they do it with you. But one of them will ruin their life, you can bet on that. You just think it is fun because you haven't found the one that ruins their life yet. But once you do find that one, and I hope for your sake that it isn't one that has anyone around him that can go down with him, you will understand why you should just be quiet about playing poker to people who do not play.
One day, one of these people you are showing off your knowledge to is going to wind up hurting his family or broke and dead and you are going to hear about it through the grapevine. Just think about that when you are jawing off your knowledge. It's not worth the little ego boost. Just if they ask if it is fun, go, "Yeah, it's all right, kind of boring, a lot of sitting around." They are your friends and you are protecting them from potential hurt. The poker world is a terrible place. You associate with people obsessed with money. With a lot of scumbags. With people indulging in schadenfreude. You get a lot of egos floating around. If you go to those clubs in NYC, they can get arrested or killed. And to top it all off, your friends are probably going to lose their money there too. There isn't any glamour. TV tries to put a shine on it, but look hard at those people sitting at the table and you can see what is really there behind them. I think if you care about your friends you would try to shield them from the world you are involved in.
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Wow. I am truly sorry that this issue got you so upset. I've written a more involved response that got too big, so I made it a new post.
Anyway, I'm sorry if that story above is not apocryphal, and if it really did happen to you, it's just awful. If it did happen, I hope you'll stop blaming yourself and get help for yourself to deal with it. Even if the story is 100% fiction, I will do the thing I would do in any situation where I think poker is bad for someone — tell them so. To you,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
roryk, I say that
you should very seriously consider getting out of the poker
world. It's clear from your writing that it is hurting you
— that the mere idea of it is despicable to you. There
is no reason you need to stay in it. You are a very bright
young man who could make a go at any career your heart
desired. I hope you'll chose to do something else. Or, at
the very least, get some help dealing with this psychological
fact that you simultaneously loathe something that deeply and
yet strive to do better at it.
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Anyway, I'm just trying to give you some really good advice. I just care deeply about my friends and loved ones and I would never want them to be in contact with people like me and people like those people in the card rooms. So I make sure to do what I can to not actively place them in a that situation. If someone already plays, I will help them to play better because I know from experience I am not going to be able to convince them to stop, so I might as well try to make it so they don't lose their money, or lose it more slowly. But I discourage people who do not already play to start playing. I think that is being very responsible and caring towards my friends and family. I would never encourage anyone in my family who doesn't already smoke to smoke, who doesn't already drink to drink, who doesn't already gamble to go to the casino, who doesn't already do drugs to do drugs. And if they don't play poker already I discourage them from playing. I try to shield them from things that could potentially hurt them by not encouraging them to get mixed up in things they could get seriously addicted to.
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I'm more or less done with this dicussion; the back and forth isn't really getting us anywhere. But a few things I want to note, and then I probably won't comment anymore about it, other than the comments below and the last entry on the subject I just posted:
Meanwhile, In the poker world, I've told people — literally pulled them aside and said to them — I've seen the addiction you talk about, and, it's been people I care about. But, keep in mind that I have some experience in the 12-step-world (remember, I had a drinking problem myself in college). Everyone in 12-step-world always says the best you can do is tell a person to get help, and you have to let it go after that.
No, I wouldn't give cigarettes to someone. No, I wouldn't give them any physically addicting substance — biological addiction is different than psychological addiction. Activities that can be done both in moderation, like food and poker, but are bad in excess are just plain different. I'm not going to refuse to share it with them because they might have an illness that might exhibit itself in poker.
Finally, I want to say that I do appreciate your thoughts and opinions. I obviously don't agree with them, but I believe you when you say you are trying to give genuine advice. If it hurts you that I'm obviously not going to take it, I do sincerely apologize that we're at this impasse in the conversation.
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Ask yourself, why is it called Parkinson's disease? Why do you look at someone with Parksinson's disease and call it a legitimate disease? The reason why is because some cells die and doctors can look at the people who die from it when they cut their brain up and see what is wrong. Thats why they call it a disease. Same with Alzheimer's disease. They look at people who die from it and see this crust on their brain and so they call it a disease. But people with depression, or schizophrenia or bulemia, or yes, a gambling addiction, they also have something wrong with their brain. That is why they cannot stop their behavior. Gambling addicts want to stop and cannot do it. There is something in their brain which is physically, biologically, messed up. In fact one part of the brain that is affected is the same part of the brain that is biologically messed up with drug addiction. To classify one mental illness as biological in origin and another type of mental illness as psychological in origin is to not understand mental illness at all.
A gambling addict will be a gambling addict for the rest of his life. He has an actual biological problem in his brain. If you are really an alcoholic, you should know that. You don't get cured of being a real alcoholic, you are an alcoholic your whole life. You are just either an alcoholic who is not drinking right now, or you are an alcoholic who is drinking right now. If you think you went to the 12 step program and you are fine now then you weren't an alcoholic, you just had a problem for a while. You weren't the real deal addict. If you are a real addict you are an addict forever.
It's like depression. Sometimes life sucks for a while and people get sad. That's situational depression. People die, you lose your job, a couple things hit at once and you have to kind of go to therapy for a while and talk it over but you get over it. But there are some people who go through their whole life depressed, like the majority of the time for no reason. Those people don't have a psychological problem. They have a biological problem in their brain. If you have that, it is like having diabetes. People with diabetes don't take insulin for a while and then don't have diabetes anymore. They might not appear to be diabetic anymore once they take insulin, but they are. They have to take it the rest of their life. That is what being a real addict is.
I just feel like you are trivializing what could happen to these people because you don't get what being an addict is. You think people can just get over it easily, because you think you were an addict and you did. But it sounds like you maybe got out of hand with your drinking in college and had a problem. But that's not being an addict, you know what I mean? A problem is not an addict. People with a problem still have control of themselves. I dunno I don't know your experience, but just from your attitude about addiction it seems like you don't have a firm grasp on the reality of the situation and the real danger of what can and does happen to people. I dunno. It's like.. it's your loved ones, man! Don't you care?? Am I being dramatic or what. I just picture like people I love with all my heart being these people broken down. For what. I would never ever forgive myself. You could just go on and not care? Blameless? I mean really? I'm trying to save you regret for your whole life.
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Ok, I'll bite for one more round:
You are probably right about me; I seem to have been spared the addiction gene that was in my family, and my drinking problem in late high school and early college was just a temporary problem and not chronic illness. However, my uncle died of alcoholism. A good friend of mine in Cincinnati died of liver failure caused by long-term alcoholism and drug abuse. I know and understand addiction in loved ones.
But, I also know that addicts tenaciously seek out their drug of choice, almost from birth! They reach out to it and can't be kept away from it. Having spent a good amount of time around addicts, I'm good at catching signs early, but even if I miss it and teach them something about poker and they get addicted, I feel sure that it would have been a matter of time.
Plus, it's really kind of a cop-out to pretend that you can have no guilt simply because you never offered them help with their game. And, after all, how do you handle that situation: Problem Gambler comes to you to teach them about poker. You say no. They get into poker elsewhere, then come back to you for strategy advice. Under your current rules, you'd help him, trying to make sure he loses less. Yet, that might get them more interested!
My point is that no clear line can actually be drawn easily. You either are comfortable with the poker world existing, with its flaws and temptations, or you're not. If you're not, you should stay away. That's what confuses me most about this — not that we disagree, not that I know you are sincere in your advice and genuinely worried about me and the people I might meet — but rather that you seem to still occupy the poker world, taking money from the addicted.
I knew you were a graduate student in something scientific, but not much more than that. I hope your plan is to write the amazing PhD thesis on the neuroscience of gambling addiction or something, and go on to help people. Obviously the issue is one of passion for you, and while I don't agree with your remedies, you obviously could make a very good positive contribution to the situation with your work.
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All of this addicts will find it anyway stuff is just justification. The fact is, you're the vehicle for their demise if you give the crack addict the crack for the first time. You're to blame in some part. And I just think that if you think you'll be fine with it and you won't lie in bed at night some nights thinking about the person that you introduced to poker, and how they shot themselves if it comes to that, or the words his wife screamed at you, or his kids crying after they lost their house, that that won't haunt you for years, because you have this intellectual justification of, "Oh well, he was a gambling addict and he would have found poker anyway." then you are sorely mistaken.
Enough people are finding poker all by themselves. There are enough message boards and places and you can meet all kinds of people already playing everywhere. There is no need to get more people to play. All it takes to protect them and yourself from that ever happening is to just play it down, "Yeah, it's okay. Kind of boring." and change the subject. And you are doing such a good thing for them, showing them you love them and they will never know it. For them and you. I can't believe that is not totally obvious to you. If you want poker buddies just post on 2+2 or unitedpokerforums or Dan Negraneu's site or something, don't fish around your friends and family.
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Here's an interesting story:
Mirapex, a drug commonly used to treat Parkinson's has been linked to the onset of compulsive, unstoppable, life-wreaking gambling in some people taking the drug. Many of these people had never gambled in their life before. Once they stopped taking the drug, desire to gamble ceased. Note that as we understand it, Parkinson's is caused by disruption of normal dopamine signaling in the brain. Dopamine involved in brain pleasure centre stimulation amongst other things.
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Now, did I feel bad about it? No. The money was going to be lost by the gambling addicts to someone, and if it wasn't me, it was going to be the other poker professionals or the criminals. And of all the people there, I felt I was the most moral and the nicest person there. In fact I had a shining reputation for being the nicest person in the few games I went to, which got me invitations to more games. If that money were to leave that circle of people, it would do the most good leaving the game to me. If it went to the gambling addicts, they would just lose it to the rest of those guys. But in terms of how, if you were to zoom the camera out of that one room, zoom out, out and then categorize society into different groups, I would likely be grouped? I'd be grouped with the scumbags. The criminals. Seedy people. Drug addicts. People preying off of weaknesses of others. Because that is exactly how I was spending my time and exactly how I was making my living.
I did not feel bad about that because I view poker like being a Samurai swordsman in Japan. Inherently, their job was to kill people. And they did not care if the person hiring them had a good reason to kill the person or not, they just did what they were told. They cared only about following their internal code of ethics and to hone their craft at killing people. I have my own internal code of ethics regarding playing poker. One of my rules is to shield new people from the game because I see what the game does to people. I also feel as if each poker hand is a mini lesson of life. When you have a playable hand you have anticipation, you are given information, you have to make complex decisions, you have to learn about yourself, learn your emotions and become at peace with yourself, learn your demons and get rid of them. You have to learn to deal with major disappointment, with long periods of loss, with fear. You have to learn to keep your ego in line, to be humble. You have to learn to concentrate and pay attention. I think you can really work on yourself when you are playing poker if you look at it the right way and so, even though I think the game itself is not one I would want my friends and family to get involved with, I personally derive a great amount of pleasure and enjoyment from playing the game. I grow as a person and understand a lot about myself. Krishnamurti said that you should find the thing you are supposed to do in life and do that, and it is very obvious to me that poker, for now, is that thing for me because I have grown immensely while playing this stupid game. It is just that, unfortunately, the game itself is an extremely selfish extremely self-serving game. I recognize it for what it is and I accept it and don't make it out to be anything other than it is.
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(Anonymous) 2006-02-28 12:06 pm (UTC)(link)I have watched many people get hooked by poker and get stung. I've seen people lose their entire bankroll in one night. I've seen people borrow money to feed their poker addiction. But in that general class of scenarios, I believe one of two things always happens:
1) The person finally gets stung so badly that they step away. Sometimes with the help of a friend or family member. The night he comes home in tears after losing a few grand in a single night, a loved one steps in.
2) Nobody steps in, the person is unable to stop playing, and the worst case downward spiral that you describe ensues.
Case 1 really isn't that bad. It can happen in much more benign ventures -- business or relationship ventures even. I recently read how Steve Wozniak spewed off nearly *all* of his +200M from apple in divorces, failed businesses (cloud nine and others), and other failed investments. Life happens. Life goes on.
Case 2 is obviously bad. But life isn't a linear sequence of events (and this holds for both #1 and #2). You can't just point to the start and say, "Brad is bad for introducing Broke Deadbeat Loser to poker." There were surely *many* events both before and after Brad's introduction that precipitated the unfortunate downfall.
The only exception to this would be people outside the realm of normal acceptiblity. Perhaps Brad shouldn't round up the 8 year old neighborhood kids for some cut-throat NL (although I happen to think it is fine to teach kids about poker, if done properly). Or perhaps he should steer away from his buddy at work who is still attending Gamblers Anonymous meetings. And also his buddy who has absolutely no money and is always asking to borrow a little to cover rent and some food bills. But otherwise -- within the normal realm of balanced people who hold a regular job, I think it's no more dangerous than teaching a person drive (person could very well die driving a car).
So if said person is not a member of these fringe off-limit categories, then even *if* he eventually comes crying and screaming to Brad -- Brad should not feel badly. Sure, he might end up feeling badly for a while. But after thinking it over, he should reach the conclusion that I present above. The person fucked up. Life happens. And life goes on.
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And then there are people who aren't addicts, who are problem gamblers like you describe, who don't have anyone to step in. They aren't even addicts, they just have a problem, but they can't get help for the problem because they don't know to. They are like people who have a traumatic experience and get messed up by it and never go to therapy and live the rest of their life screwed up by it. There was nothing wrong with them before, they could get help and be better, they just never do. They maybe can keep their job but their life is miserable. They never go all the way but they are always broke and scrounging around for money.
I don't think it is fine to teach kids about poker at all. People in the poker world are selfish, egotistical, greedy, money-loving people. Do you think children should be learning values from those kinds of people? I don't think so. I don't think my children should be looking at Antonio Estvandarie or whatever his name or those dirtbags on TV and imitating them and thinking they are role models. Do you think your child is going to learn the value of money looking at all of that money flying around without a care? Do you think he is going to learn the value of hard work gambling like that? Do you think he is going to learn about honesty and trust? Is your kid going to learn how to be responsible and dependable playing poker? How to get a job done, how to plan, how to tell the truth, how to care about other people and be empathetic. How to be a good person, to be nice and selfless? Or is he going to learn other lessons about being greedy. About lying to get what you want. About decieving other people. About being selfish. Will he learn about hard work sitting around just playing cards for money? What exactly is my kid going to learn playing poker again? Because all of those very bad things are REWARDED with money in poker. You think teaching kids poker is good?? Are you out of your mind? You want your kids to be playing poker? What kind of parent or parent-to-be are you?
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1) Bradley should not feel bad if a loved one were to flush his life down the toilet and die, or come crying and screaming to Bradley if he were to ruin his life with poker once Bradley got him into it because there were many events that precipitated the downfall and Bradley was just one of them. "The person fucked up. Life happens. And life goes on." This is a loved one, mind you. Bradley's loved one. Like, you know, a family member. His friend. Someone he loves. Life goes on.
and
2) Teaching poker, a game where lying, selfishness and greed is encouraged and rewarded with money, is a good game to teach children to play.
You tell Bradley to have an emotionally cold, selfish and heartless response to someone he loves and in the same comment mention that you think teaching children a game that teaches them the same values is a good game to teach them.
You're correct, with your weird overly negative slant
(Anonymous) 2006-03-01 12:54 am (UTC)(link)Speaking to point #1 -- Suppose Brad went to his friends house for dinner. The dinner was great. After they're shootin the shit and Brad complements his friend -- "awesome dinner buddy. amazing food." His buddy says, "thanks.. you know, sometimes I think about taking out a loan, leaving my job, and opening up a restaurant." Brad says, "wow, that would be a big risky step, but your cooking is amazing. If anybody could do it, you could."
Later that year his friend follows his dreams. Unfortunately the reastaurant business eats up all of his time. It's really hard on his family life. What's worse... it just doesn't work out. The business goes bust.
Life happend. His friend got roughed up pretty badly. Should he blame Brad for that after-dinner conversation that gave him a little boost??
Now for #2. First I'll ask you if a child should be allowed to play any game that involves the qualities "lying, selfishness, and greed." Or as I would word it "deception, and a willingness to put yourself first as an individual." Singles tennis, for example. It's one-on-one out there -- no fucking around if you want to be number 1. No lying there. But how about *any* card game that is beyond Uno (or even Uno, I think). Or chess. Or Scrabble. Good players learn to deceive, even in these games of total information. Deception or lying makes lots of games fun. Plus, it happens all the time in the real world -- it's reality.
Now, poker is different because the point system is money. It's not chess or scrabble. Is money the issue? What's wrong with teaching a child to budget a poker bankroll and play within it? Give a child $20, and instead of letting him buy baseball cards, let him play $.10/$.20 limit holdem. Then, if the child goes bust he learns a lesson -- no more poker! If he makes a profit -- boom -- another lesson.
A final postscript -- a good friend of mine found himself extremely addicted to chess for about two years. He played probably 15 hours a day. It was a big setback to his life and career. I helped him get back into chess (he played a lot as a small child). Should I feel badly that I set out the chess board one afternoon years ago?
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