I'm more or less done with this dicussion; the back and forth isn't
really getting us anywhere. But a few things I want to note, and then
I probably won't comment anymore about it, other than the comments
below and the last entry on the
subject I just posted:
On being an abrasive character at the poker table: I agree with you
here. Your view of me is tempered by what I was like in the early
River Street days. To give you a hint of what I'm like in live
games now: I often need to remind people who I am on the phone
when trying to get into a new NYC club. The only description that
gets them to remember me is: I'm the guy with the Bose
headphones who never says anything. Then, they immediately
remember me. Indeed, I leared the “quiet game”
strategy from you, Rory. If I never thanked you for that, I
should do so now: Thank you!
You said: I never claimed not to be a scumbag ... I care deeply
about my friends and loved ones and I would never want them to be in
contact with people like me. This is a very sad set of statements
to read. Rory, I am honestly worried about your self-image and how you
are dealing with it in the poker world. Honestly, I mean it —
reconsider whether or not you want to keep playing poker if it makes you
feel that way. Indeed, maybe you are masochistically addicted to the
low self-esteem that you get from viewing yourself as a
“scumbag” who preys on people with gambling addiction. I
don't know you well enough to know if that's anywhere on base at all,
but it might be worth considering.
I think lumping all types of activities that one could get addicted to
as morally equivalent is a mistake. Addiction to different types of
things is different. People get addicted to food, for example. Should I
not invite people to have dessert because of this, because of what might
happen? Desserts are, after all, wasteful food that has no nutritional
value. Is the person who offers dessert to friends doing wrong?/li>
Meanwhile, In the poker world, I've told people — literally
pulled them aside and said to them — Go to Gamblers' Anonymous;
you have a problem. You should stop. I've seen the addiction you talk
about, and, it's been people I care about. But, keep in mind that I have
some experience in the 12-step-world (remember, I had a drinking problem
myself in college). Everyone in 12-step-world always says the best you
can do is tell a person to get help, and you have to let it go after
that.
No, I wouldn't give cigarettes to someone. No, I wouldn't give them
any physically addicting substance — biological addiction
is different than psychological addiction. Activities that can
be done both in moderation, like food and poker, but are bad in
excess are just plain different. I'm not going to refuse to
share it with them because they might have an illness
that might exhibit itself in poker.
Finally, I want to say that I do appreciate your thoughts and
opinions. I obviously don't agree with them, but I believe you when
you say you are trying to give genuine advice. If it hurts you that
I'm obviously not going to take it, I do sincerely apologize that
we're at this impasse in the conversation.
no subject
I'm more or less done with this dicussion; the back and forth isn't really getting us anywhere. But a few things I want to note, and then I probably won't comment anymore about it, other than the comments below and the last entry on the subject I just posted:
Meanwhile, In the poker world, I've told people — literally pulled them aside and said to them — I've seen the addiction you talk about, and, it's been people I care about. But, keep in mind that I have some experience in the 12-step-world (remember, I had a drinking problem myself in college). Everyone in 12-step-world always says the best you can do is tell a person to get help, and you have to let it go after that.
No, I wouldn't give cigarettes to someone. No, I wouldn't give them any physically addicting substance — biological addiction is different than psychological addiction. Activities that can be done both in moderation, like food and poker, but are bad in excess are just plain different. I'm not going to refuse to share it with them because they might have an illness that might exhibit itself in poker.
Finally, I want to say that I do appreciate your thoughts and opinions. I obviously don't agree with them, but I believe you when you say you are trying to give genuine advice. If it hurts you that I'm obviously not going to take it, I do sincerely apologize that we're at this impasse in the conversation.