Whether 'Tis Nobler in Poker to Be Feared Or Loved

In a comment that I made to roryk about his play in Greg's limit game, I mentioned the Machiavellian question of poker: "Is it better to be feared or loved at the poker table?"

An anonymous commentor followed up with some useful thoughts. Anonymous puts forward a basic notion that I've heard before: "Be feared in HE, and loved in O/8". I think as a first approximation, this is roughly correct, for the same basic reasons Anonymous gives in his post.

However, as I think more on this, the deep context sensitivity of poker overwhelms these useful first approximations. No hard and fast rule works for anything but beginning players. HE is of course a game where aggression usually pays. However, taken too far, it yields the testosterone-high hyper-aggressive players. Check-calling may be the best strategy against them. Let them "love" you rather than "fear" you. Let them call you a "calling station" when you know that they're usually betting your hand for you.

Central to all poker is adjusting to situations in a deep psychological way. The feared/loved divide doesn't rest in the particular form of poker. It rests as part of a whole sphere of factors that include your own table image, your opponents' table images, how long it's been since a waitress has been to the table, how many runner-runner draws have caused bad beats since you've been at the table, etc. Phil Ivey, who is always so quiet in his adjustments, said it in simple terms in a recent interview he gave to Card Player:

... In the big game, they can adjust to anything you do. If you play faster, they'll adjust. If you play tighter, they'll adjust. The best players can tell when another player is adjusting or thinking about adjusting, and then it's back and forth. So, if you do have a strategy, you'd better be willing to change it. ... That's why you have to play it by feel. I say you have to get in there and evaluate the situation. Some people need a strategy because it makes them feel better. ... I don't care who's to my left or my right. I'm going to play how I want based on what is the right way to play.

There are too many variables, and so many you can't quantify mathematically in any way that allow you to simply solve an equation and know how much you need to be feared and/or loved. Indeed, this is one reason why I keep coming back to play more poker: the same 25 cards dealt to the same 10 players in the same betting order can produce wildly different results based on a whole host of factors that no one can really quantify. Everyone adjusts; the ones who are most conscious of all that adjusting usually win.

So, do I prefer to be feared or loved at the poker table? I tried typing this paragraph twice with each answer and got nowhere. My goal, I suppose, is to be able adjust and set up medium-term situations (and in home games against the same players, long-term situations) where I am feared at just the right moments and loved at just the right moments. When I'm playing my best game, I'm constantly thinking where I am in that whole scheme and if I'm set up in the right ways.